Real Talk

Black men can’t handle real women!

Dear Abina,

I am 24 years old and I am a young European-Senegalese woman. I describe myself as beautiful, loving, ambitious, relaxed and trustworthy. I have a great job as an event manager. When it comes to relationships, I am reliable, I take good care of my man. I can be described as the ‘good girl’.

I am dating this guy for more than 8 months now. He is lovely, funny, he gives me attention and we get along great. But yet, he is scared. He admits that he does not know how to handle his feelings for me, because he does not easily get feelings for a woman. But he still wants me to be his lady. As a result of his fear, he sometimes accuses me of messing about with other men. He gets quite suspicious whenever my phone goes off. This ruins any good time that I share with him. It seems as if he is putting me to a test to make sure I am that reliable woman. This has gotten to the point whereby I so get irritated. I am tired of constantly having to defend myself of things where I know nothing about. I am a good woman, I am not romantically involved with anyone but him. He should be glad with someone like me.

I thought that a man recognizes a good woman, once he sees one. If he was aware of the woman that I am, he would not even have the nerve to accuse me of such things.

I am so tired of it. The reason why I am tired is because I don’t know how to handle this. I don't know if this is a test. I am thinking of putting an end to our relationship. But yet, we have something good going on. The positive of our relationship is more than the negative. But this negativity is just getting on my nerves and it is ruining good times.

What do I do

Abina, speak!

Yours,

Sylvia V.

Dear Sylvia,

Thank you for your story. This is a situation that is pretty easy, but women make it harder on themselves than it is. Take this advice from 5 men that I have explained your situation to: 'Remain the honest person that you are'. If he admits his fears and want to change, it is worth the while. If he does not want to change, then he is not worth your joy & peace. The most important thing in a relationship is communication and trust. If this is not what you are getting, while you deserve it, than it is not meant to be now. You have all qualities to get a good man. Rejoice and be glad in it.

Yours,

Abina